


the adventures of boongtoon booys

by chennychenchinchen



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: ConVerse, Crack, Fantastic Baby, M/M, Memes, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-06-10 13:24:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6958234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chennychenchinchen/pseuds/chennychenchinchen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>basically the boongtoon booys being $wag money as always</p><p>starring: dance munster, alcohol, jimeme, sugar, j-hoe, 22nd letter of the alphabet, and oatmeal raisin kookie</p><p>warning: stupidity<br/>don't like, don't read!!!1!!1!1</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. your converse highs, i rlly rlly wnt u, your converse highs, i rlly rlly like u

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> in case you need help deciphering the names
> 
> rap monster = dance munster  
> jin = alcohol  
> jimin = jimeme  
> suga = sugar  
> j-hope = j-hoe  
> v = 22nd letter of the alphabet  
> jungkook = oatmeal raisin kookie
> 
> all g00d now, m8?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jimeme gets new converse and sugar is a h8ter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i had only one day  
> i would go see the person who created converse highs  
> then i would tell that person  
> you saved the world

jimeme walked into the dorms with a new pair of converse. sugar looked at the converse and furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“converse converse i rlly h8 converse” sugar sed.

  
jimeme creid.

 

  


 


	2. sugar x neck pillow- the proposal

sugar and his neck pillow went out on a date

 

“i think we need to take this 2 da next step” sugar said. he went down on 1 nee and pulled out a ring. “will u make me da happist swagmaster alive and marry me?”

 

neck pillow didn’t reply. a tear ran down sugar’s cheek.

 

”nothing? i bought u at the incheon mall for $25 and you can’t even give me this much? babe pleaz i can’t live w/o u” sugar said. neck pillow still didnt respond. sugar shed another tear. “that’s fine i didn’t love you anyway. i h8 u”

 

jiyoooooooon from 4minute jumped up from under da table and whispered “silheo silheo nan neo silheo” as sugar ran away

 

when sugar got back 2 da dorms dance munster said “g00d we were getting thirsty” and drank all of sugar’s tears

 


	3. foontoostic booby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> g-dragun is inspirational for dance munsters everywhere

“my name is rap munster, not dance munster” dance munster sed 2 da camera. “that’s r-a-p munster, not d-a-n-c-e munster.”

 

g-dragun rose from the pits of hair dye and placed his hands on either side of dance munster’s face, forcing dance munster to look at him

 

“dance,” g-dragun whispered. “i wanna dance dance dance dance dance.”

 

oatmeal raisin kookie burst into the room

 

“G-DRAGUN OPPA!!!!!” oatmeal raisin kookie scremed. “SARANGHAE OPPA PLZ MARRY ME ILY”

 

“i gtg, another crazy fangirl found me,” g-dragun said to dance munster as he began slithering back into the pits of hair eye. “hmu on instagrem i like 2 post pics that show how rich i am”

 

g-dragun was never seen again

 

oatmeal raisin kookie creid

 

korea’s law for military service creid

 

dance munster danced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boom shaka laka
> 
> boom shaka laka
> 
> boom shaka laka


	4. jimemes jams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jimeme proves to dance munster that he has yes jams

“jimeme” dance munster said. he looked very serios “you got no jams”

 

“but leader hyung,” jimeme’s eyes were almost the size of his thighs. “i got yes jams”

 

dance munster GASPED

 

oatmeal raisin kookie GASPED

 

alcohol GASPED

 

j-hoe GASPED

 

22nd letter of the alphabet GASPED

 

“infires” sugar whispered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "you got no jams" is a huge reference in this fandom but i am genuinely surprised "i got yes jams" isn't a popular joke like honestly don't you guys want to make fun of their english grammar jfc


	5. punny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i luv puns

“j-hope? more like j-nope” dance munster sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-rope” oatmeal raisin kookie sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-dope” alcohol sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-cope” jimeme sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-grope” 22nd letter of the alphabet sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-pope” sugar sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-mope” dance munster sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-scope” oatmeal raisin kookie sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-elope” alcohol sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-slope” jimeme sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-trope” sugar sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-horoscope” 22nd letter of the alphabet sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-soap” dance munster sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-envelope” oatmeal raisin kookie sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-cantaloupe” alcohol sed

 

“j-hope? more like j-microscope” jimeme sed

 

j-hoe creid

 


	6. oatmeal raisin kookie has an existential crisis about his heritage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> read the chapter title

“y am i a oatmeal raisin kookie? nobody likes oatmeal raisin. y can’t i b a chocolate chip kookie instead” oatmeal raisin kookie frowned

 

“bc we don’t like u” 22nd letter of the alphabet sed

 

“y not” oatmeal raisin kookie sed

 

“bc ur better than all of us and it’s not fair” 22nd letter of the alphabet sed. a tear ran down oatmeal raisin kookie’s cheek.

 

“shhhhh bby dn’t listen 2 him” jimeme sed @ oatmeal raisin kookie. “ily”

 

oatmeal raisin kookie called the police. jimeme was arrested for pedophilia. jimeme creid

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 teim when i was in kindergarden this lil gurl brought cookies in for her birthday and they were /oatmeal raisin cookies/ so she was on everybody's shitlist for the rest of teh year tru story


	7. every k-drama ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is gonna become a k-drama one day just you wait

oatmeal raisin kookie was sitting on a bench in the park.

 

“wowwie it sure is boring here” oatmeal raisin kookie said. “if only something kool would happen”

 

all of a suddon, g-dragun jumped out of a rabbit hole

 

“thnk g0d,” g-dragun said, pulling a hair brush out of his solid gold manpurse and running it through his bleached hair. “it was rlly dirty down there i almost got my solid gold manpurse dirty”

 

“g-drAGUN OPPA” oatmeal raisin kookie scremed. “SARANGHAE!!11!1!!!1!”

 

“i saranghae u 2 oatmeal raisin kookie,” g-dragun said. he pulled a ring from his pocket. “will u marry me?”

 

“OMG OMG OMG“ oatmeal raisin kookie jumped up and down ”yes!”

 

g-dragun smiled and opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off with 22nd letter of the alphabet suddenly ran g-dragun over with a motorcycle. g-dragun’s silver bl00d spilled all over da grass and made flowers grow. oatmeal raisin kookie’s eyes wideneed in horror.

 

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOkay idc jimeme luvs me more anyway i can just marry him,” oatmeal raisin kookie loled and skipped away.

 

22nd letter of the alphabet devoured g-dragun’s corpse 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't have time to properly edit a picture so i just drew it on snapchat
> 
> it's obviously g-dragon laying dead on the groud with his silver blood draining out of him and causing flowers to grow DUHHHHHHHHH
> 
> just give me an art degree already god dammit


	8. the best con

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mmmmmmmmmmm

it was halloween so bts went 2 da pumpkin patch but they culdn’t find any g00d pumpkins.

 

“all these pumpkins suk” sugar sed in a swiggity voice

 

“u suk m0re tho” j-hoe shot back like the hoe he is. everyone went “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH” and made airhorn noises and fell and rolled on the ground. sugar creid.

 

“srsly tho all these pumpkins suk” sugar sed when he was d0ne creing

 

“k” dance munster sed. so they all went back 2 da dorms with0ut a pumpkin.

 

“now wut do we do we still dn’t have a pumpkin” jimeme frowned. jimeme rlly likes basking in the guts of the pumpkins he stabs so he was sad :(

 

“it’s ok i got this” alcohol sed. he disappeared into the closet, and when he came out, he was wearing a pumpkin costume.

 

“he finally came out of the closet lmao” oatmeal raisin kookie sed and everybody LOLed

 

“i’m a pumpkin but don’t actually carve me lmao” alcohol sed

 

“sorry fam we gotta sacrifice” dance munster sed as everyone took out their knives.

 

“plz dn’t m8” alcohol sed, a tear running down his cheek. “i’m ur fam”

 

“dub-con is best con” sugar sed

 

so they all cut off alcohol’s head, which was conveniently the perfect size of a pumpkin. they took out his brain and eyeballs. jimeme basked in alcohol’s echoing screams as he made snow angels in alcohol’s bloody guts. 

 

the time finally came when alcohol’s head was clean and ready to hold a candle. they took a candle that they got at bath and body works and lit it. the flickering flame was visible from the empty sockets that used to hold alcohol’s eyes.

 

“and what did we learn today, children?” dance munster sed, happy that they could find a use for that bad-smelling candle.

 

“that dub-con is best con!” everyone cheered. they then made a pumpkin pie with alcohol’s entrails.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dub-con isn't actual the best con guys  
> it's just a prank bro  
> please have very consensual sex

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me [here](https://curiouscat.me/chennychenchinchen)


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